The BIG Secret to Getting Him Back

I have to confess to the boring weekend I've had, which is sad, considering that it's July. Usually this time of year, given the short warm months, is to be taken advantage of with being out and about. What a lonely weekend it was.

Then I got thinking...not that I ever stop, with this brain.

I have to confess to the boring weekend I've had, which is sad, considering that it's July. Usually this time of year, given the short warm months, is to be taken advantage of with being out and about. What a lonely weekend it was.

Then I got thinking...not that I ever stop, with this brain.

I'm not pining for anybody right now, but I've been there. I know how the mind doesn't shut up, and how the heart aches. I know how nothing soothes the thoughts, and how nothing takes away the unbearable pain.

When I wanted my ex boyfriend to take me back, I had no clue how to cope.

There was the part of me that was wondering what the hell happened, and how on earth I lost him. There was the part of me that was building a plan on getting back together with him..forever. Then there was the part that knew I had to cope..while I waited for him...and waited.

The only coping I could even think of was how to make my plan work so perfectly, so I wouldn't screw up with him..again. I had to scrutinize carefully over the details of the perfect things I would say, and the perfect things I would do. But of course, I had to perfectly know what to avoid saying, and what to avoid doing.

So not only was I trying to cope with the loss of my ex boyfriend, but there I was trying to cope with something in the future that hadn't even happened yet!

How could I even begin to look towards the future, let alone put some decent action towards it, if I was still in excruciating pain over the past?

I knew I wouldn't be effective going forward, and especially with my plan to get him back, unless I had full grasp of the past. And this meant letting go.

Me letting go of my guilt of losing him.

In hindsight, as long as I clung onto the regrets of my own guilt, I could not be effective going forward. I would be off balance, off kilter, off power. I would not be moving forward with strength.

But the way to get clarity over the past is to process it, but not to dwell on it. You can't scheme ahead, if you don't know what you're leaving behind.

And what better way to uncover the past, and discover the future then by letting time run its course. Oh, I know, the dreaded 'T' word.

But it's true. Time does heal. I understand you feel your pain will never go away, unless and until you have him back. But just know that it gets easier to cope with what will be, once time kicks in.

So you can either let the time pass you by as you wallow in your own misery, or you can begin to heal and be happy. I highly recommend the second option.

Begin to heal your pain, uncover a whole new you, rejoice at the possibilities! And if he's there again, that's just a bonus.

-xo Kat